Milestones of a Child's Faith- Part 2

We walk through the final three faith milestones that prepare teens to leave home with both conviction and competence. We talk about intentional handoffs, apologetics before graduation, and the kind of legacy that can outlive our own names. 
• naming the launch years as a runway, not a finish line 
• building adulthood through core doctrine plus practical life skills 
• teaching stewardship with real money and real consequences 
• marking adulthood with a clear handoff of expectations and privilege 
• preparing graduates for cultural pressure with apologetics training 
• giving teens resources and voices that sharpen biblical worldview thinking 
• aiming beyond events toward a lifetime of enduring, multiplying faith 
• choosing ordinary daily rhythms as the place legacy is built 

If you've got ideas of what you want us to talk about, podcast@WayneChristian.org. 

"The Family Ministry Field Guide" By: Timothy Paul Jones https://amzn.to/4w1FAsh

https://legacymilestones.com

Send any questions you want answered to podcast@waynechristian.org

This podcast is presented by Wayne Christian School- A Christ-centered community school whose mission is to assist parents and churches in the education of their children from a biblical worldview to impact their world for Christ. You can learn more at waynechristian.org 

Transcript

Recap And The Launch Question

Nate 0:00

Lewis, last time we left off talking about rings, special mementos, road trips, and awkward car conversations.

Luis 0:08

It was a pretty good episode, I think.

Nate 0:10

It was. It's a great one. And here's the question I want to ask us today. Because we covered the early years, the identity years. So what happens when that same kid you were praying over as a baby is suddenly 18, packing up a car and driving away from your house?

Luis 0:27

Wow. And when you really think about it that way, it hits different because then you actually start to picture it.

Nate 0:33

Yeah, that's right. It does. Because all that foundation we talked about last time, it's not the finish line. It's just the runway. And today we're talking about the launch.

Luis 0:44

We're going to talk about the moment where all that seed planting either takes root and grows into something that stands on its own or it doesn't. And so we're going to finish the journey together. We're going to look at milestones five through seven.

Nate 1:21

And we are glad you're here with us today. And if you haven't listened to part one of this two-part series, uh pause right now and go back and make sure you grab part one because what we're talking about is the milestones of faith that you walk through with your child, from baby dedication all the way through to the launch that we're talking about today. Last week we covered those first four the baby dedication, the purity conversation, that transition into adolescence. And all of those build the foundation to what we're talking

The Milestones Framework And Resources

Nate 1:56

about today.

Luis 1:56

And all of this is built on a framework that comes from Timothy Paul Jones and Brian Haynes. And it's built around this idea that spiritual formation happens through intentional milestones, not by accident. And I think you did some research on this, and this is where you kind of got this information from, right?

Nate 2:15

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Timothy Paul Jones has this book, and we're going to link to it in the show notes. It's linked in last week's episode as well. And it's a family discipleship or family ministry handbook, is his book. And he's gotten a lot of other family focused discipleship books. So Timothy Paul Jones is a great resource, and he's the one that pointed to Brian Hayes. And there's a website, legacymilestones.com. Again, link in the show notes for you. And those are just kind of the place that we're pulling this idea from. And it's that whole framework where you're walking through these different milestones where your your child's making the transition into each of these, and you can be intentional about what they need at each step along the way. So the the last week we already talked about we we covered those first couple. And so now we're moving into those launch years. So Lewis, let's kick us off. This is milestone five.

Passage To Adulthood With Intention

Nate 3:11

Kick us off with that one.

Luis 3:12

What does this one look like? Yeah, and so if you're like me, I am parenting a 15-year-old right now. And so milestone five really speaks to me, which is that passage to adulthood. And Nate, I think this is one of the most overlooked milestones on this entire list because it doesn't get the attention that maybe like graduation does, or maybe like, you know, the early years, baby dedication, baptism, things like that.

Nate 3:39

Yeah, and I think it might be a cultural thing, don't you think? Because it's like the graduation, like that's a typical milestone. You know, you have a big graduation ceremony and everybody knows, but like, and not to go off on a rabbit trail, it's almost like our culture has extended adolescence. And so if you look at some research now, it almost like goes all the way out into your mid to late twenties. I s I've seen that. Like it's and it's and uh some of that's based on brain research, right? Your your prefrontal cortex is not fully formed until like 23, 24, something like that. But in previous, you know, generations, when you were 15, 16, like you were considered an adult and you were expected to start acting like an adult. You know, you may still be going to college or doing whatever, but like at that stage, late high school or middle, middle of high school, you were you were considered a man or a woman. And so you you had higher expectations. And so that's why this milestone is kind of in this stage. You've made that transition into adolescence, you've gone through puberty, now you're an adult. So what kind of comes with this? What does it look like for a teenager who really should start taking on some of those adult responsibilities?

Luis 4:55

You know, one of the things to understand here is that the goal here is really huge, right? It's about grounding your teenager in foundational theology and practical life skills, right? It's both halves their matter, right? Because you can raise a teenager who knows sound doctrine, but they can't balance a checkbook. But you can also raise a teenager who's very financially savvy or maybe tech savvy or maybe even a hard worker with their hands, but they don't have a clue about what they actually believe and why. And the truth is that you need both of those legs to stand on.

Nate 5:30

Yeah, so so that's exactly where we're going with this, right? The practice here is working through not only core Christian doctrines, but also adult competencies. There's a great book, uh 50 things to teach your kids before they leave the home. We'll we'll link to it in the show notes because we probably just butchered the title. Great book, by the way. It is a really good book. And and it goes through it. It literally is like sections of a checklist of 50 things you should be able to teach your child. It goes everything from change in oil or changing your tire, right? Which is an important like life skill, balancing a checkbook. But then it's also got things like being a good host, you know, like being able to welcome people into the house. And, you know, let me take your coat and do you need a glass of water? Like it's things like that. And so what we want to see here is we want to see, you know, financial stewardship and serving others and personal responsibility, like those are all things that you need to be able to teach your child as they make this transition into adult.

Luis 6:32

And I actually recently taught my child how to change a tire on a car. So was it in an emergency situation? In an emergency situation, here is your triple A card. Take it out, call this number and wait two to three hours. Only two to three hours? Sometimes.

Nate 6:48

Instead of changing their own tire? You know, in an emergency situation, call this number on the back of your triple A card. Oh my goodness. So here's the question though. Do do either of your you got two cars, right? In the family. Do either of them have a spare tire? They do, uh. Okay. Yeah.

Luis 7:04

Yeah, they both should. We've never, praise God, we've never had to actually use the spare tire to like do anything with. Normally because you just call triple A. Well, not always. Sometimes when we've had flat tires like nearby, we can, or you know, our tire pressure gauge is low, we can take it to cheap plug a tire company here locally in our city that's owned by one of the parents that attends our school. Okay. They take really good care of us there.

Nate 7:31

Look at that. Yep.

Luis 7:32

So not triple A, but close to it.

Nate 7:34

It is not triple A. I have had to change my own tire on the side of the road, and it was not fun.

Luis 7:39

Oh, I can imagine.

Nate 7:40

Especially with it's a one-lane road or two-lane road, and cars are zipping past you. And anyway, yeah.

Luis 7:45

You want me to teach you the same thing I taught my daughter this past weekend? About calling triple A? Grab this triple A card, call this number, and wait two to three hours. I didn't have to wait two to three hours, though. But this is where, like, seriously, things that we've talked about before. So you'll remember an episode that we did probably earlier this year about the three buckets framework, and it fits really naturally. So if you're a longtime listener, you've heard us talk about the give, save, and spend. Yep. And this is a season to actually hand that framework to your teenager and let it and let them practice it with real stakes. So maybe they have a part-time job, right? Maybe they have their first checking account. Now they're making real decisions with real money.

Nate 8:25

Yeah, yeah. It's not theoretical, you're not playing Monopoly. Although that is a great game to learn some of these skills low risk, but there's real consequences. You know, you you spend all of that money on something that you want. Well, now you don't have the money to buy something else that you need later. Yeah. You know, it's it's things like that, you know, and it's teaching them to be a good steward of what God has given them. Yeah. And and then there's the the doctrinal side of things, right? This is where you can make sure that they and can answer big questions. You know, what do you believe about who God is? What do you believe about scripture? What do you believe about salvation? This is where, again, call back to a previous episode, we or series actually, where we walked through the evangelism, right? Sharing the gospel, sharing your testimony. And it's not, you know, I believe this because mom and dad believe it, it's because they've actually wrestled with it on their own.

Luis 9:17

And then comes the celebration piece, right? There there should be some kind of ceremony or gathering that marks this transition for them, where they see that now there's new privileges, now there's new expectations, now there's new roles within the family.

Nate 9:34

Can you just send them out into the woods with a rifle by themselves and they can't come back unless they're dragging a deer behind them?

Luis 9:41

In a in a little jar or maybe even like a you remember the old camera film? Yeah, yeah. Like one of those with peanut butter.

Nate 9:47

And that's all the food they got.

Luis 9:48

That's it. So they have to survive.

Nate 9:50

Okay.

Luis 9:50

And then if they make it back, you celebrate, right? Okay. By by skinning the deer and cooking it.

Nate 9:56

We probably just lost some listeners over that.

Luis 9:58

The celebration is a healthy thing, right? Because so often we just let adulthood happen by default, right? Like one day they're 16 with a curfew, and then the next day they're 18, and then now like they're an adult, right? But but you haven't actually renegotiated anything. You've just stopped enforcing the old rules, and there's no intentional handoff.

Nate 10:20

Yeah. So this milestone says, let's make this intentional. Let's name it, let's celebrate it. Let's say you are stepping into something new. You are a man, you are a woman, right? You you are leading because you're an adult now. And and here's what that means for how we relate to each other now, even though you're still living under my roof, but you now as an adult are making your own adult decisions.

Graduation And Apologetics For Real Life

Luis 10:46

And that brings us to the sixth milestone, which is which is probably one of my favorite ones on this whole list, right? Because it it's so close to what we do every day in our roles as educators. But this this milestone is about graduation and apologetics.

Nate 11:00

Yeah, and that's a really clear one, right? Because, you know, you finish twelfth grade, and assuming you passed all your classes, you will graduate. You know, you have a ceremony, it's all there. And then from that, they have to decide. Are they going into college? Are they going into the workforce? Are they going to the military? Are they taking a gap year? Great plug. You can actually link some of those together and like go to Word of Life Bible Institute we've talked to before, and you can get some biblical training and it's like a gap year program, and you still get college credit, and it's awesome. But, you know, those are decisions, and you're preparing your child to stand firm in their faith when they launch this direction.

Luis 11:38

And here's the important thing to know as a parent because if you're honest with yourself, your kid is about to walk into an environment, whether that's a college campus, whether that's a job site, whether they're going into the barracks, wherever they land, they're gonna go to a place that is going to challenge everything they believe in. It's not gonna happen politely, it's gonna happen aggressively, it's gonna be in your face. And all of a sudden, everything you've done at home is going to be questioned. Everything they've learned in church, everything they've learned maybe at a Christian school, it's gonna be challenged and they're gonna be faced with it without you being there, without their youth pastor being there, without their Bible teacher being there.

Nate 12:17

Yeah, and sometimes it's actually not even aggressively and in your face. We've talked about that before. Some of the most insidious attacks come in very sneakily and underhanded, and it's that current that starts sweeping them away as their roommate, you know, questions something that they believe. It's not a, hey, you're a crazy lunatic. It's just a really you you still do that? Or yeah, well, why don't we just go do this other thing? You know, it's it's ideas like that. And if the first time they encounter some of these hard questions and hard decisions about their faith and their standards is in a dorm room at 18 with no framework for how to think through those decisions, they're in a very vulnerable position.

Luis 12:59

And so what this milestone does, right is it it creates this practice about intentional apologetics training, helping them learn why they believe what they believe and not just what we believe, but why we believe it and how to answer tough questions, how to engage the culture with grace and truth. And and those are very important, right? They they go together.

Nate 13:20

Yeah, and this actually ties back again to another episode that we've done about big questions and having a rigorous faith and resilient logic. And if your teenager hasn't heard those or you haven't listened to it, it's a great time to go back and listen to them, and you can even listen to some of these together. So, you know, this whole I feel like our whole podcast, right, Equipped for Impact, is giving you the tools for this, right? And so there's a lot of callbacks in this episode, but but that's really important for you. You can go back, we've got these resources you can listen to and listen to again as you are trying to set your child up for this milestone, because it's a big one.

Luis 13:59

And we've done this so long now, sixty-eight episodes. Sixty-eight. Sixty-eight episodes that a lot of what we're telling you now, you can find in one of those episodes. We've talked about some of the great voices to read, like Sean McDowell. We've talked about resources like the Colson Center and John Stone Street and what he puts out.

Nate 14:21

And so Breakpoint Podcasts, I know we're we're great at plugging other podcasts too. Breakpoint is a great one where they take, you know, everyday, like real relevant today news and look at it from a biblical worldview.

Luis 14:33

And so give your teenager the exposure to sharp, faithful thinkers who've already wrestled with some of these questions.

Nate 14:39

Right. And then celebrate. It's graduation, right? That's your celebration. And so just pair pair your celebration on top of what your school is already doing. And and this is where parents, you know, formally come on and bestow this, you know, this framework, the the mantle that they're they're launching their son or daughter out into the world, you know, even if they are still technically living under your roof for a little bit while longer, you're it's a launch. And so celebrate that and and pass the mantle.

Luis 15:07

And I love that language, right, of passing the mantle or launching because you're not just saying, hey, good luck out there, right? It's it's you as parents standing in front of your child and saying, We've poured everything we have into you, and now we are releasing you. Now we are launching you. We're not moving you away from the faith, but we're putting you into your own ownership of it.

Nate 15:28

Yeah, and that can be a very powerful moment if you do it intentionally. So it's a moment worth planning. Don't just let that graduation season come upon you, you know, caps and gowns and open houses and graduation parties and all the things, right? But build build in a moment, even a small one, where you can intentionally speak that blessing into your child's heart. So that brings us to our last milestone, milestone number seven.

Building An Enduring Lifetime Faith

Nate 15:56

And this is the final one, and it's just a lifetime in Christ, right? And and Lewis, this one's different from the others, right?

Luis 16:04

Yeah, and it's because there's no single event that's tied to this one, right? There's there's no dedication service, there's no baptism, there's no road trip, there's no ring, there's no graduation ceremony. This milestone is the fruit of every milestone that came before it.

Nate 16:21

Yeah, and the goal is that your child is now an adult living out an enduring, multiplying faith. And you think about it, you know, you have hopefully passed your faith on to your child. They own it, and then now this is the time as an adult. They get married, yeah, they have their own kids, you get to go into the grandparent stage, right? You don't stop parenting your child. It's just a different type of parenting as as colleagues, as equals because because they're an adult and you're still walking with them and encouraging them in this lifetime of faith.

Luis 16:57

And that's and that's really cool, right? Because now we get to see the practice of what we poured into them. It's watching your child, your adult child, walk as an active disciple maker. And I'm at that weird stage now in my life where like my daughters are getting older, and so my wife and I, we start to have conversations about what we want to be like as grandparents one day, right? Two of my favorite episodes, Nate, were when we had your mom on for the Mother's Day episode. Yep. And then or was it the grandparent? Was it the grandparents' day? Yep. And then I think we had your dad on for an episode as well. It was the same episode. Was it the same thing? That was that was one of my favorite episodes because it was really cool just kind of seeing how they had invested in your life and then the lives of your brothers, and then now they were able to walk alongside of you with your children. Right. And that was that was really cool. And all 15 of their grandchildren. So if you haven't listened to that episode, highly, highly, highly recommend it.

Nate 17:52

But but now Should we just name this episode the callback episode? Yeah.

Luis 17:56

Man, we've done so many good episodes. I think they're good.

Nate 17:59

This is the phase where like if you listen to podcasts who are new, which I feel like we're still fairly new. We're a year and a half into this. Year and a half, yeah. You know, and at this point, like people start running out of things to talk about because they've talked about it all. And so then they go back and start rehashing some of the things. Yeah. So if you've got ideas of what you want us to talk about, podcast at WayneChristian.org. Send us an email. We want to uh cover new stuff, and we're gonna keep going as long as we can. So I think here, you know, I think this is worth zooming out now that we've covered all seven of these milestones and just reminding ourselves of the whole framework we've talked through these last two episodes, right? Everything from the dedication to the profession of faith, the adolescence conversations and all the awkwardness there, you know, stewardship, apologetics, and just launching in. None of these milestones are a goal in and of themselves.

Luis 18:53

They they were all pointing somewhere.

Nate 18:55

Yeah, and it's to to this last one, right? To an adult who doesn't just believe things about God, but actually lives a life that is shaped by him. And then who can turn around and pour that same faith into somebody else, right? And and someday their own children, a friend, somebody that they mentor, somebody at work, whatever it is, they are practicing the Great Commission as an adult who is bringing glory to God. Yeah.

Luis 19:21

And what's really cool is that this allows us to be able to help them understand the truth, right? They know what they believe and why. They also know that the truth has actually shaped who they are, it has shaped their character, it shaped their habits, and then now the mission continues because it doesn't stop with them. Now they're carrying it forward to somebody else, and you get to see the fruit of your labor as a parent in their lives as they become parents, and now hopefully do the same thing with their children.

Nate 19:53

Yeah. And so, you know, this is this is a great like parenting arc. That's what we want to see. And it's really what comes out in the Bible, right? Deuteronomy 6 of passing this on to your children. You go to, you know, 1st and 2nd Timothy talking about, you know, teaching faithful men who will teach others also, and and see in Timothy the faith that was in his mother and grandmother and was passed on to him. And and so you spend 18 plus years pouring into your child's life, hoping it takes root, trusting that God is going to bring the fruit in your child's life, and then you release them into their own mission.

Legacy That Reaches Future Generations

Luis 20:31

Nate, I was on an Instagram Doom Scroll recently, and I came across this very morbid reel.

Nate 20:39

And it's that was a let's just pause and note that that was a really weird transition because we went from like launching your child to like an Instagram Doom Scroll that was morbid. But I'm trusting that you're gonna take it someplace.

Luis 20:50

I'm gonna connect here. Okay, okay, I'm gonna connect here. So the reel said something to the effect, and I don't remember exactly how it was phrased, but it said there will come a point in time when someone will remember you for the last time. And like I read that and I was like, wow, like that's like that's so true. Like at some point the people that knew you had a memory of you, they'll all pass on, and nobody will exist that knew you. Yep. So as I'm thinking about that, and I'm thinking about this connection here, right? If if you do it right and you do this process and it takes root in the life of your children, there may be people 30, 40, 50, 100 years from now, who have no memory of you as a person, but the legacy of what you did in the lives of your children is still being passed on to the next generation. Like it reminds me of the book of Joshua where it says that a generation arose that did not know the Lord, right? Like, as parents, let's make it our goal to make sure that we pass on. The Lord to our children, and then they pass it on to their children, and they pass it on to their children. And even though there may come a time when nobody remembers you anymore, you're still making an impact in the lives of generations you'll never see.

Nate 22:14

Yeah, that's it. I was actually reading in my quiet time this morning, and we're in Psalm 37, and it was at the end of the Psalm, and this is what it said. He says, I have seen a wicked, ruthless man spreading himself like a green laurel tree, but he passed away, and behold he was no more. Though I sought him, he could not be found. Mark the blameless and behold the upright, for there is a future for the man of peace, right? And so he's making that contrast of like you see this person who seems like they're flourishing now, but as soon as they pass away, there's nothing left, right? But uh but a righteous person, blameless, who they're making that investment in the next generation, right? And so you will see their influence through the generations. And the Bible's full of those pictures. So that's that's what we're going towards. So let's bring this all together, right? You we've got the milestones, seven of them going from you know, baby dedication to the profession of faith, adolescence, adulthood, a lifetime in Christ. It's you know, these different milestones, but it's one long, beautiful journey.

Final Encouragement And Practical Next Steps

Luis 23:23

And don't get overwhelmed by the big picture, right? You don't need to have all seven of these figured out today. Look at where your child is right now. Figure out which milestone is right in front of you and just start there.

Nate 23:35

That's right. You're planting seeds now through your everyday rhythm. So those dinner conversations, car rides, bedtime prayers, whatever stage of life you're in, right? That's where discipleship is actually happening. And those mark what's been growing in your child's life this whole time.

Luis 23:53

Spiritual formation was never meant to be an overnight event. It's just it's a long walk of discipleship that happens right there in your home, one ordinary day at a time.

Nate 24:03

That's right. So, Lewis, any last encouragement to the parents listening right now as we wrap up this little mini-series?

Luis 24:10

Well, hopefully, if you're listening, you've had a chance to listen to both episodes, and you might even be feeling the weight of everything that we've covered. And so let me let me just encourage you with this. You're not doing this alone, and you were never supposed to. Trust that God is with you in this. Your church community is meant to walk alongside you in this. And every small step, every faithful step you take today is planting something that is going to shape generations after you. And so don't underestimate the ordinary moment. That's where the legacy is built.

Nate 24:44

That's great. So thank you all for listening to Equipped for Impact. If these episodes encouraged you, please share it with another parent who could use it. We love it when people find this podcast because uh a friend, a parent friend shared it with them. And make sure you subscribe so you don't miss our next episode where we are doing our back to school episode. It is that it's the time of year. The school you done your school supply shopping? We did it this past weekend. Ah, us too. Yours. We have, yes, we did. Um, but until then, keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christmas.