Three Challenges For Christian Dads

We celebrate Father’s Day by grounding fatherhood in Scripture and challenging ourselves to disciple our kids with intention instead of drifting with the culture. We give three direct challenges for dads who want to model faith, speak life, and keep showing up even when it feels hard. 
• Ephesians 6:4 as a clear calling for fathers to bring children up in the Lord 
• Psalm 78 and the generational responsibility to tell God’s story on purpose 
• Be the man they’re watching, because more is caught than taught 
• The home as the most powerful curriculum through daily habits and priorities 
• Say the words your kids are waiting to hear, closing the gap between love felt and love spoken 
• Proverbs 18:21 and the power of a father’s words to give life or cause wounds 
• Five sentences kids need to hear, including confession and apology 
• Stay in the game through exhaustion, doubt seasons, and discouragement 
• Gospel hope for dads who feel like past failures disqualify them 
if this episode encouraged you, please share it with another dad who could hear uh in use that encouragement as well 

Send any questions you want answered to podcast@waynechristian.org

This podcast is presented by Wayne Christian School- A Christ-centered community school whose mission is to assist parents and churches in the education of their children from a biblical worldview to impact their world for Christ. You can learn more at waynechristian.org 

Transcript

Father’s Day Banter And Purpose

Nate 0:07

Welcome to Equipped for Impact, the podcast designed to assist Christian parents, leaders, and educators to raise up the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ. We're your hosts. I'm Nate and I'm Lewis. And we are glad you're here with us today, where we are celebrating Father's Day. Happy Father's Day, Lewis.

Luis 0:29

Yeah, happy Father's Day to you too, Nate.

Nate 0:30

Um, so breaking out the Blackstone Grill?

Luis 0:33

Um, let's see. No, we will I don't know what we'll be doing.

Nate 0:39

We'll just be getting back from camp. You're getting back from camp, and so you're probably just sleeping. Probably. Maybe have a little breakfast for dinner? Mm-mm. Nope. No breakfast for dinner. No, that would be the opposite. The anti-Father's Day. In fact, I have specifically asked for French toast for my Father's Day dinner. For dinner. That's not true. But we do always come back to the Blackstone for every Father's Day dinner. Every Father's Day, you should get a Blackstone. You should get a Blackstone.

Luis 1:05

I still don't have a Blackstone. If you're listening to this, your dad, your husband, deserves a Blackstone. Blackstone for Father's Day. Yeah.

Nate 1:14

You should get one. I should. I don't know. I I like my griddle. My plain old Lowe's special.

Luis 1:19

But you know, for as much as you like breakfast for dinner, that would make your breakfast for dinner.

Nate 1:26

But I've got an electric griddle, so why don't I just keep that inside? Because it's just something about being outside. I can go use an extension cord and plug in my electric griddle in outside.

Luis 1:37

And just your bacon just sizzling and then just I don't know, maybe it over a campfire. Bacon over a campfire? Like on an iron skillet? Yeah, there you go. Cast iron. That's old school. I guess you could do that. I could. But that that sounds harder than a blackstone grid.

Nate 1:53

It's true, but if what are we going for? Are we going for ambiance or are we going for convenience? Manliness. I think of cast iron skillet over an open fire is more manly. I guess that's true. Than a blackstone griddle. Kids get your dad a blackstone griddle. Oh my goodness. Well, like you've already figured out, this is our Father's Day episode, and we're not, you know, going through a framework. We're not in the middle of a mini-series. This is just a special episode just for you, dads. It's straight, I would say no fluff, but I think we've already added fluff. Anytime we start talking about the Blackstone. That's not fluff. It's not important. It's important.

Luis 2:28

And it's important because we think that the dads listening to this show, you deserve a word that's just for you. Uh Father's Day is in a few days. I guess depending on when you listen to this, right? This is the magic of the podcast world.

Nate 2:43

That's right. I mean, you might be listening to this three years from now. Yeah. Before Father's Day. Before Father's Day. Hopefully Blackstone is still in business. Hopefully. That would be. If they're not, that'd be terrible.

Luis 2:54

That would be terrible. But there's I've seen worse things. But happy Father's Day. And we want to make this time count for you. Yep.

Nate 3:02

And so today, if you're a dad, or maybe you just love your dad, whatever it is, stick with us as we're going through. And we've got three challenges coming your way for you for fathers. And we're going to ground them in scripture. That's what we always will go back to. So we want to make sure that we are living practically to disciple our children out of the truths of scripture.

The Biblical Call To Fathers

Nate 3:27

So let's go ahead and start with what could be one of the main, you know, mission statements specifically written to fathers. We're in Ephesians chapter six, it's going through. It talks to husbands and wives and children. And in Ephesians 6 4, it says to fathers, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So there we go. Just one sentence, but there's a massive calling in there to us as fathers.

Luis 4:00

And I love that Paul singles out the fathers here, right? He he doesn't say parents. He could have used a word for parents, right? There was there was a word for parents, but specifically he talks about dads. He says, dads, right? Fathers, you.

Nate 4:13

Yep, yep. And and specifically he says, you're going to bring them up, right? There's an active, intentional, ongoing, like child rearing going on there. And it's an active calling for us as as dads.

Luis 4:27

And that's actually different from what we hear in the culture, right? A lot of times you hear things like try not to mess them up, right? Like your goals as a dad is to make sure that they don't end up worse than you did, right? This is that intentional, like bring them up. It's it's looking towards a destination. You have something in mind that you're trying to accomplish with them.

Nate 4:50

Yeah, and I think that's important. One one of my favorite authors, I've mentioned him on here before, John A. Cuff. Yeah. He actually says, We're not raising kids, we're raising adults. Yeah. And that changes the mindset, right? It's like, yes, they're kids right now, but the point is I'm bringing them up. I'm raising future adults, even if they're not there yet. So there's that destination of, according to Ephesians, right, the discipline and instruction of the Lord. It's not just manners or morals, it's teaching them to be like Jesus and teaching them to live according to his word and for his glory. And that's a pretty important job for dads. Yep, yep, that's exactly right. And then, you know, we can we can jump back to the old testament, right? That was Ephesians in the New Testament. Jump into the Old Testament. Lewis, you said you were preaching on a psalm recently that hits on this, right?

Luis 5:41

Yeah, so recently at our church, I preached on Psalm 78, and in verses four through seven of that psalm, it says, We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generations the glorious deeds of the Lord and his might and the wonders that he has done. And then uh just a few words later, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God. And one of the things that I pointed out in this verse, and really what I was connecting to was about telling the story to the next generation, right? And so we're we're we are talking about God and what God has done to the next generation so that they can tell it to the next generation, so that they can tell it to the next generation.

Nate 6:28

Yeah, that kind of uh it uh it's a callback almost to Second Timothy 2.2 of you know, the things that you've learned and seen and heard, you know, pass them on, teach them to faithful men who will be able to teach others also, right? And it's that idea that the faith doesn't transfer automatically, right? You are going to tell your children, you're gonna model it for your children, and you're gonna pass it on on purpose.

Luis 6:54

And honestly, that's that's why we do what we do every week. Like we're doing these podcasts so that you can be able to take this, what we're talking about, and pass it on intentionally to the next generation. Because the truth is that we don't drift towards holiness, we don't drift towards righteousness, and so we need to be intentional about passing that on.

Nate 7:16

Yeah, that's that's exactly right. It's like we're trying to raise up the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ. Look at that. As if we say that every week. But I mean, that's that's really what we've been, and and we can go back to our theme verse for this show, right? Deuteronomy six. You know, we talk about it almost every episode. I think it makes its way in there, but it's that whole idea that, you know, no matter what you're doing, when you sit down, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, when you rise up, whatever, you are going to disciple the children that God has given you.

Luis 7:47

And being a dad, it's it's not a program, right? Like it's not something you don't you don't go to a conference to become a dad, right? You don't read a book to become a dad. It's it's a posture, it it's it's a way of life, right? Fatherhood is all about how you live your life every single day.

Nate 8:04

Yeah, that's that's exactly right. So with those verses, that scriptural foundation, let's get to three challenges, okay? Try and get practical here for us. And and these are these are challenges. Like we chose that word because they're not suggestions. We really think that these things are gonna, if we challenge ourselves as as dads, and they're challenges for you and me too, right, Louis? Absolutely. You know, if we challenge ourselves as dads, we're gonna stay on the right path. So so we're just gonna try and tell it to you straight

Challenge One Be The Example

Nate 8:36

today.

Luis 8:36

And so the first challenge is just very simple. Be the man they're watching.

Nate 8:41

Yeah, that's exactly right. And and it's it's framed in a specific way, right? You're you're not just trying to be a good example. You know, they your children are watching you, whether whether you think they are or not. Yeah. It's the whole more is caught than taught. Yeah. And so you know that they're watching. So be the type of man that that you want your children to watch and learn from.

Luis 9:06

And just so that you know, your children primarily don't listen to what you tell them. Yeah. If you haven't figured that out, right, they're gonna learn from what they see you do. It doesn't work to say do as I say, not as I do. Like that's not gonna fly. That's not facts, right? No, not facts. It is cap. It's cap. You be capping. You think that you are capping, right? Uh but the truth is that they're learning from what you do.

Nate 9:33

Yeah, that's exactly right. And the most powerful curriculum in your home is your life, right? When they see you having breakfast for dinner, they will pick that up.

Luis 9:43

That's why my girls are being raised right. Are they? They are, yeah. They they if if you ask them, if you ask them like, would you like to have breakfast for dinner, they I think they will gag.

Nate 9:52

And then they're gonna marry a man who loves breakfast for dinner.

Luis 9:56

How do you know? Is that on your list? Because it it it should be if it's not, but but because I am modeling for them the the way the way Oh my goodness. And so when you know, when your children see how you react, right? Like you're setting the example for them. Yeah, and when you think about that, it's it's not the school, it's not the church, it's not this podcast, it's not their pasture, it's you, right? Like you, dad, you are the lesson that they're learning.

Nate 10:33

Yeah, that's exactly right. And so, like, your your son watches how you handle frustration. Your both your your sons and your daughters see how you treat your wife, and they get that picture of what love is supposed to be like. Yeah, they see the way you spend your time and your money and your energy, you know, what you do when you, you know, just crash at the end of the day. All of those things, it it teaches them what really matters, and it teaches them what normal should be like for them.

Luis 11:05

Yeah, we just wrapped up a series not too long ago called The Achievement Trap. Yeah. And it talked about the way that our culture seduces our kids into building their identity on performance, on grades, on success. And then the hard question that we have to ask as dads is if our kids are falling into the achievement trap, what did they learn from watching us, right? Oh, yeah. Because if they watch you as the dad pour your whole identity into your career, into your income, into your status, then they're going to do the same thing. And and we're not trying to knock anybody here, that's that's just how they work. They they see you and emulate what you do, yeah.

Nate 11:49

Whether you tell them to do it or not. Yep, that's exactly right. And so if they see you as a dad pursuing Jesus, opening your Bible, praying, serving, confessing when he's wrong, they get this whole picture. And it's I I love the verse, 1 Corinthians 11 1, where Paul tells the Corinthians, you know, be imitators of me, follow me as I'm following Christ. And so you're really you're calling your kids on to follow your example, not because you are the example, right? But because you are trying to follow Christ. And so that's our first challenge. Be the man that they are watching, right? Do what you want them to learn, right? Model that for your kids. Yeah.

Luis 12:37

So what's what's

Challenge Two Speak Life Giving Words

Luis 12:38

challenge number two? Well, challenge number two is say the words that they are waiting to hear. It's time for breakfast. It's oh man, not that one. Those are words. Those are those are the ones you're waiting to hear, right? And and and when you think about it, this this is one that probably gets us every time because I think that most dads love their kids deeply. Like, like the love is there, right? But somewhere between the heart and the mouth, it it gets lost. There's there's a gap. And in the gap, it does real damage.

Nate 13:12

Yeah, that's exactly right. And and there's something about a father's words that that really go deep. You know, when you slow down and you you think about what you're saying and how it's landing for your child, right? It goes deeper than almost anything else in a child's life. And and research shows that, and scripture tells us that. That's why we go back to that verse in Ephesians, right? It's the provoke not your children to wrath. It's not, you know, don't do things that irritate your kids. It's don't lay such a heavy burden on your child that they're they're they feel like they can't measure up or they're they're, you know, whatever it is, you know, and so your words really paint that. You know, when you affirm them, when you sh, you know, tell them you love them and you approve of them and you're proud of them, like those words really go a long way in a child's life.

Luis 14:03

That just took a big burden off my heart because like I I you know, that means I like I can annoy them in the car then, right? Like it's not talking about it.

Nate 14:10

Absolutely. When I tell dad jokes, my girls try and quote this verse at me, and I like kind of come back with some Greek and be like, that's not actually what it says in the theology. I drop some theology. It's a Bible burn. Excellent, excellent.

Luis 14:22

It's that Jesus Jew, right?

Nate 14:24

Yeah, there you go.

Luis 14:24

And so Proverbs 1821, it says that the tongue has the power of life and death. And so, dads, you are holding something powerful every time you open your mouth towards your kids. And so, are you speaking life? Are you telling your son that he's capable, courageous? Are you reminding him that he's called by God? Or are you telling your daughter that she's loved, that she's seen, that she's valued? And not just it's not just about her performance, but it's about who who she is in Christ. And are you praying with them out loud so that they can hear your prayers, so that they can hear you talk to God on their behalf? I was recently convicted of of this in just just my personal life. Nate, I don't know you know how how you do with your family, but as our girls were getting older, we would kind of let them say the blessing, right? And so it just kind of became a thing, right? You know, when we would gather around, we would ask, you know, our oldest to say the blessing, we'd ask our youngest to say the blessing, they learn to say the blessing. And we just kind of continued that. And then it hit me, right, that I'm the dad, and maybe I should be the one praying, right? And so now I've kind of taken it upon myself, like when we sit down to eat, instead of asking one of them to do the blessing or or telling them to do the blessing. Now I'm like, I'm praying so that they can hear me pray during the meal. Now, yeah, there's nothing wrong with kids saying the blessing. That's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying that God convicted me of maybe I should do it more often because we were telling our girls or asking our girls to do it at each meal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nate 15:54

And there's a balance, right, between modeling and letting them do it, right? Because if they never do it, yeah, they're not gonna learn themselves. But that's that's really good there. And I mean, Ephesians 4 talks about this where it where it talks about how we need to speak the truth, but we need to do it in love. And that there, you know, you can you can build your child up even when you're reprimanding them. Yeah, you can do it from a standpoint of loving, caring, affirming who they are and who they are created to be. And so we can do that, we can say those words even while we're in the moment tearing them down, tearing down elements, you know, that need to be torn down. But the overall is a building and a life-giving words. And so those are things you can do, you know, and it needs to start at home where they hear that first from you as a dad or as a mom.

Luis 16:49

And dad, here are five sentences that your kids need to hear from you. And and if you're not saying this to them out loud, if you're not using your words to say this, I'm not talking about sending it to them in a text message, right? Or writing it down. I'm talking about using your words to speak them. These are the five sentences. I love you, I'm proud of you, I believe in you, I forgive you. And this is probably the most important one. I was wrong, I'm sorry.

Nate 17:19

Yep. And that last one, especially, right? When you can look at your kid and say that you were wrong, that you are sorry, like that's not that's not weakness, that's strength, and that's modeling true confession and humility even in front of your children. And so that that's that's the meekness that God has called us to display as men. And we get to do that with with our families.

Luis 17:43

Yeah. And so when you speak the truth into who they are in Christ, when you remind them that their identity is not in their grades or their performance or what it is that their peers think, but that it's in God who made them and saved them, then you are pushing back against every lie that the culture is throwing at them every single day.

Nate 18:01

Yeah, that's really good. So that's challenge two. You know, say the words they're waiting to hear, right? On purpose, consistently. Don't just assume they know it. You've got to say it. So what's what's our last one? Number three.

Challenge Three Stay In The Game

Luis 18:14

Yeah, this is this is probably one of the ones that that I feel most personally right now, even myself, Nate, and it's um stay in the game.

Nate 18:23

Stay in the game. That's a big one, right? Because a lot of dads listening right now, uh, you know, you're you're tired. Yeah this time of the summer, like if you have that change of pace in the summer, the kids are out of school, you start to kind of feel to decompress a little bit. Maybe you're having a family vacation, but but then it's just like, man, I'm so tired. And you just kind of wanna wanna pull out. And and you know, you you might be going through a hard season. Maybe, maybe you tried something and it didn't work, whether it's with your kids or or at home or whatever, and you're starting to wonder if it's it's really worth it.

Luis 18:59

Yeah, and the enemy loves to use each of those as a way to get you to drift as a dad, right? So maybe your kids are pulling away, you're tired, right? You're exhausted, and so you begin to check out. You tell yourself, you know, I'll I'll re-engage when things are better. And so dads stay in the game.

Nate 19:22

Yeah, and it's it's kind of a cliche nowadays, but it's the whole idea of life is a marathon, it's not a sprint. Yeah. And it's funny because a lot of people that say that have never actually run a marathon. I actually have not run an open marathon, but I've done some pretty long distance endurance races.

Luis 19:38

What's the longest you you've you've you've ran?

Nate 19:40

Uh so it was a race in Switzerland. It took me just under eight hours. Eight hours of it. It was a 10K run at six miles, 100K on the bike, and then another 30K, which is 18 miles running. And were you thinking the whole time, this is just like life? This is no, that was not what I was thinking. But I will tell you that I think I started the second run. So I'd already been out there maybe five and a half hours or so. And I started that second run, and you're like going through this little Swiss town in the middle of nowhere, and like I was done. Like, I was tanked at that point, and I still had 18 miles left to run, and it was ridiculous. But like in those moments, like it's like your your tank is empty, and you're just like all you can do is just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Yeah. And there's seasons that are like that in parenting, right? Where your kid, you don't feel like you've got the connection. Maybe you're saying some of those sentences that we just gave you in the last challenge. You're questioning their faith, you're questioning your own faith, and it's just like maybe your heart's broken, but the best thing you can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Luis 20:47

We did an episode a while back, and I'd encourage you to go back and listen to it. It's the reality that many kids walk through genuine seasons of questioning everything that they've been taught, right? Yep. And one of the most important things we said in that episode was this that what your child needs most in that season is a parent who doesn't panic and doesn't walk away, right? Yep. And so, dads, that's that's why we need you to stay in the game. Yep, that's exactly right.

Nate 21:14

Don't pull away, leave that door open, even when they shut their door, right? Because they will eventually, prayerfully, they will come back and you just keep modeling faithfulness. Like we said, even if you're not sure they're watching because they really they are watching.

Luis 21:31

And I love the way that Psalm 78 ends, right? It ends with hope, right? It says that the children yet unborn would arise and set their hope in God. And that vision spans generations. It doesn't just happen in one conversation, it's not about one devotion or one good week or one good month or one good year, but we're talking about people who aren't even born yet.

Nate 21:53

Yep, yeah. And so that's that's the thing is that it's not, you know, just a single moment, it's you consistently showing. Up week after week, and it's an accumulation over the years of praying and loving and saying the right, you know, the things that will build your kids up. And if you stay in the game, you know, you you eventually will have that impact in your children.

Luis 22:16

And dads, uh, there's one of you that's listening right now that you're probably hanging your head because you are thinking that you're already out of the game. Here's what I want you to hear, right? You don't have to be perfect to stay in the game. You just have to be faithful, right? You don't have to be perfect. The the enemy wants you to believe that your past failures disqualify you, that the years that you weren't as present as you should have been, that that's the final word.

Nate 22:45

They're not. Yep, yep. And and that's the thing is that the gospel gives us that final word, right? The gospel tells us who we are and that we have hope in Christ. And so you can apologize, you can, you know, repent and turn and re-engage with your kids, and you can be the father that God is calling you to be, not by your own strength, but by his grace and the help of the Holy Spirit in your life. And so you can lead your family well, even if you maybe have quit once already. Yeah.

Luis 23:19

And so, dad, stay in the game, right? Yep. Come back if you quit. Don't quit, don't drift, and and keep showing up.

Ten Minutes With God And Closing

Nate 23:25

That's good. So, so Lewis, as we wrap up today, before the dads go off and eat their breakfast for dinner, what is one last encouragement you would give the dads listening today? First thing I would say is throw away that plate of breakfast.

Luis 23:38

Don't eat it at dinner time. That's a waste of food. Save it for the next day. Warm it up in the morning. Okay. And but here's what I would say to you, Dad, is is we are so grateful for you. The fact that you're listening to this podcast, that you're thinking about how to lead your family, how to disciple your kids, how to walk with God in this season, that that's important and that matters. So don't underestimate it. And here's what we want you to walk away from today, and we want to ask you to do this before Father's Day is over. Take 10 minutes today and just and just sit with God. Ask him, ask him that honest question of what does my family need most from me right now? And and and and pray and listen. And then find one of your kids today and say those words. Tell them you love them, tell them you're proud of them, tell them who they are in Christ. And don't wait for the right moment. Just just make it the right moment. And then and then make that decision, right? Not we're not talking about a resolution or some sort of vague intention, but make a decision that you are going to be the dad who is more intentional about modeling their faith, who's gonna speak life into their children and who's going to stay in the game.

Nate 24:47

Yeah, that's really good. So, dads, I hope this was an encouragement for you today. And one last happy Father's Day from us here at Equipped for Impact. Um, if this episode encouraged you, please share it with another dad who could hear uh in use that encouragement as well. Uh, and maybe that'll be the thing that keeps them in the game. Um, and so join us next week. Um, but until then, keep leading the next generation to stand firm in their faith and influence the world for Christ.